Anniversary - Sara Gruber

You always pointed out how I forgot our first “anniversary,”
And then flashed me that crooked smile
Like you enjoyed having a way out of forgetting the next one.
I’m bad at dates and to this day I’ve probably forgotten
Just about as many as I’ve remembered.

Now I’m sitting here watching the flowers you gave me for Valentine’s Day
Wilt away and slowly die,
And my heart clenches as I set my jaw
Cursing this entire universe because for some reason
I relate to a bunch of goddamn dying flowers.

I keep adding water and watching, waiting
For them to magically start growing again,
As if I’m not aware the stems were severed long ago,
And their fate has been sealed.

I don’t know if our fate has been sealed yet,
And I keep glancing at my phone even though I know
The very definition of the space I’m giving you
Means that I can’t dial your number.

I’m just so inconceivably angry,
And you’re the only one I want to tell.

I remembered today-
I remembered this one.

But I can’t tell you and all I’m getting from you
Is a hollow silence tonight.
Something in my heart is telling me you forgot,
Whether I’m right or wrong.
I want to laugh and tell you we’re even,
But I think now, I’m too late.

Sara has been writing poetry as long as she was able to string together words in hope that someday it will all make sense. She is a freshman studying Social Welfare.